Seeking First

“But what does this mean, what have I to do, or what sort of effort is it that can be said to seek or pursue the Kingdom of God? Shall I try to get a job suitable to my talents and powers in order thereby to exert an influence? No, thou shalt first seek God’s kingdom. Shall I then give all my fortune to the poor? No, thou shalt first seek God’s kingdom. Then shall I then go out to proclaim this teaching to the world? No, thou shalt first seek God’s kingdom. But then in a certain sense it is nothing I shall do. Yes, certainly, in a certain sense it is nothing; thou shalt in the deepest sense make thyself nothing, become nothing before God, learn to keep silent; in this silence is the beginning, which is, first to seek God’s kingdom.”

—Søren Kierkegaard

Summary of the last 5 days of my life

Saturday Starana passed away...she was the younger sister of Stanley (in the prior post).

We started unloading supplies on Monday from the semi container that was shipped from Indiana. Last night I literally was dreaming about unloading and sorting boxes. I feel like I will be dreaming about banana boxes for a long freaking time.

Young love. This is Gerry and Matchia...they are children of two of the inpatients staying in the back of the clinic. They are both ridiculously cute and equally naughty.

Today we did some crafts and sports with some of the older kids from the Rescue Center.
Renald was hammin' it up...per usual.

Madelene making a necklace. Don't forget to sop that sucker with saliva!

Future Haitian soccer stars with some of the guys from the WA team.

Sequam with his big, precious smile.

Noel...one of my fave kids in the RC. Apparently purple is the new black.

And finally...we took a walk to the new land this afternoon so the team could check it out. We climbed to the highest point on the land...it is like ridiculously breathtaking up there. 

More glimpses of our walk (I feel like the word "walk" does not properly communicate to you the mountain erosion that we scale on each "walk"...it's more like a hiketumbleclimbdrinklotsofwater)

The Journey of a Kwash Kid - part II

If you didn't catch the first post on Kesline and Stanley you can read it here.

Kesline is looking GREAT! She moved from the critical care tent to the Rescue Center and is fitting in well with all the other kids. You can see on her belly that some of her old skin is peeling away. This happens often with kwash kids.

Stanley is finally looking like himself. For a few days this week he swelled up again and could barely see. We have no idea why he swelled again because he was eating well and finishing most of his Mamba each day. On Thursday he hung out in the office wit Lori, Licia and I. For some reason his body just decided to rid itself of a bunch of the built up fluids that day. He still is kwashy in his legs and feet.

Sometimes it is not good if a child loses water weight that quickly. Their organs just get all stressed out and out of whack (I know...my medical terminology is so eloquent) and they pass away. So far Stanley is doing well, but now is a very critical time for him. He now needs to start gaining healthy weight and we just wait and hope that his body will have the strength to do that.

You can see that his little collar bones are sticking out. He and Kesline had the same form of malnutrition which is Marasmic Kwashiorkor...which means they have kwash and when they swelling goes down they are very gaunt and have the typical "starving child" look.

He is still in the tent and will likely be there for a while longer.

Keep praying for both of these precious babies.

The Pain in Loving

It seems a foolish waste of time to try to escape pain. It's around every corner I turn...my heart burns with the ache of my own prideful sin-ridden heart and the weight of the world's pain. To neglect it means I would have to become numb...to pain...and love.

It's easy to love deeply in Haiti...and hurt deeply too. Injustice, death, disease, selfishness...are all well known here.

Bitterness, isolation, numbness have been my weapons of choice in the history of my life. Often times it just seems way easier to tune it all out...to live in the fog of survival.

But bit by bit my heart has been breaking. It has been feeling deeper pains that I knew I had in order to heal and to love that much deeper.

I have chosen idols and swimming in my crap over my Father over and over...and yet He still calls me daughter and lets me call Him Abba. I would be living in my own disease, death, and selfishness if He had not called me out of that darkness.

I get to be messy and vulnerable because His love cannot be broken by my brokenness.

I want to love deeply and hurt deeply rather than live in isolation. I want to identify with my Savior...and learn how to love like He loves.

This is the thing...the desperation in Haiti is easy to see because so much of their poverty is a physical, material poverty. Yet, the whole world lives in the same poverty...a poverty of love, the love of the only true Love. 

I cannot see others through this Love unless I have let my own heart be captivated by it...and feel it...really, truly feel it.

O' Father open the depths of our beings that we may see the hearts that ache to find a Love worth hurting for.

The Journey of a Kwash Kid

Kwash sucks really really bad. 

Basically Kwashiorkor happens because of a lack of protein in a child's diet. Many of our kids in the Rescue Center have Kwashiorkor and Marasmus (when they get really skinny) together which is the worst form of malnutrition that a child can get. Some kids suddenly lose all the protein from their diet and get kwash, but still have fat and muscle mass under the water weight.

The reason kids get Kwashiorkor is still "unknown", but it seems very likely that it is from a lack of protein in the child's diet. The child's organs, and kidneys in particular, begin to shut down and their body distributes the fluids starting in their feet. Our Kwash kids get high amounts of protein in their diet including Medika Mamba, a peanut butter fortified with vitamins.

Kesline when she was admitted. She is almost 2 years old and weighed 25lbs.

This is Kesline after losing her water weight. Her weight in this photo was 17lbs which means she lost a total of 8lbs of water. This is a very critical time for the child...this is often the time when we lose a lot of kids. I will keep you updated on her progress as the weeks go by.

Please be praying for Stanley. This is his second time in the Rescue Center and he came in really bad this past week. He has already been severely malnourished once and overcame mysterious seizures after the earthquake. Every time a child becomes severely malnourished their chances of survival go down.

This is his admittance photo. His face was so swollen that he had water leaking out of his eye lids. He is 4 years old and weighed 26lbs in this picture.

Stanley a few days later, his face is a little less swollen. The reason one side is more swollen is because that is the side he lays on and the water in his body will gravitate to the lowest point. Throughout the day the nannies switch the side that he lays on.

This is Stanley today. Finally recognizable...but he is definitely still feeling like crap. He was 24.5lbs as of Saturday.

I will continue to update you on these two precious little ones. Please post any questions you have.

Love you all.